.. taking a bucket of sand to the Sahara Desert. I mean, you're carrying two gallon jugs of milk around with you all the time anyway. If you keep filling those with even more milk, your boobs will grow bigger and bigger until ... until I die!"She laughed. "Normally, I'd be offended by the 'gallon jugs' comment, but since it's you I'll let that slide. So, pray tell, how are you gonna die?" Okay, admittedly, maybe I won't die. But I'll wind up in the emergency room, at least. You know those Viagra commercials that mention needing to seek medical help if you have an erection longer than four hours?"She laughed some more, in part because she was happy to finally understand where he was going with this. She teased, "Sucks to be you. Mmmm. Boy, I feel really thirsty all of a sudden." She took a big swig from the milk carton. Then she looked down at her rack. "Hmmm. Did I just feel a growth spurt coming on? I think I did!"He gulped theatrically, pulling at his collar in an exaggerated. (Andrew the first even ended being emperor despite having being born in a simple peasant home.)Your family was one of the few to have had three of its members elected Emperor by the 27 electoral princes of the nation. Those three powerful archmages had ruled with wisdom in their time making the name of Ashcroft a respected one. The throne was not hereditary, the founders of the Empire had ruled that no child of an emperor could succeed him or her. This system kept balance and stopped humanity to do solve once again into waring tribes.How low had you fallen.It all started with the Lorican war. One day, 256 years ago a huge army gathered at the edge of the plains that bordered your family's domain. Masses of green skins, undeads, demons and even dragons had gathered under the banner of the high Lich Loric the grim.A strong defense was offered but once the three red dragons got into it the world burned and all that was left of your family were a despaired widow and a new born son that.
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